This page is dedicated to really Big Questions. What is the impact of technology on our sexuality and our society when it comes to sex? Do you have a big question, let us know and we will discuss it here.


Professor Sharkey of Sheffield University warned in 2016 for Android Sex Dolls. Having sex with a machine is not a problem but what if it is your first time? What do you think of the opposite sex then? He argues these dolls should not be sold to children under -16s. But that is not enough. What if your mom or dad has one? You can sneak in and use it. O, man, that is mindboggling to me. Using the autonomous sexbot of your dad. That’s like having sex with your dad’s girlfriend. Sick!

An important question is of course: what is virginity? There are a lot of definitions. The dictionary will tell you that a virgin is a person who has not had sexual intercourse. But what is sexual intercourse?  In the strictest term; you are a virgin until you’ve participated in penetration of the vagina by the penis with the member of the opposite sex. But this definition leaves a lot of people out of the loop. That is why virginity is often defined as follows: if you share your body with another person, or if you give pleasure to another person that involves orgasm or intends to cause orgasm, you have had sex.

So, if you go by this definition the answer is easy. You need two persons. You need to share your body and give pleasure to another person. That means you can not loose your virginity to a sexbot. Just like you can not loose your virginity to an advanced dildo or a fleshlight. Even if you work really hard and make all the right moves you can not give the sexbot pleasure. It can fake it, but it won’t feel it!

However, if you are a girl, it is not at all unthinkable that in years to come sex with a sexbot will be a lot more enjoyable than a first experience with a real boy. On the other hand, this boy probably already has years of experience practicing on his dad’s real doll. So maybe, just maybe, losing your virginity in the future will be an experience of higher quality than today. 


Sigmund Freud introduced the Oedipal complex. He theorised that all small boys select their mother as their primary object of desire. They subconsciously wish to usurp their fathers and become their mothers’ lover. Typically, these desires emerge between the ages of three and five, when a boy is in what Freud defined as the “phallic” stage of development. Because the child suspects that acting on these feelings would lead to danger, desires are repressed, leading to anxiety. The oedipal complex is named after Sophocles’ protagonist, who unwittingly murders his father and marries his mother.

Few people believe today that the oedipal complex has any real bearing on our lives.

Untill now. Every year Pornhub reveals its numbers in the Year in Review. This is always full of interesting facts. For example, did you know that there are 800 searches every second which is exactly the same number of hamburgers that McDonalds sells every second? Or did you know that they stream enough data every year (3.732 Petabytes) to fill the memory of every iPhone in the world. Or that the trending search term of 2017 is Fidget Spinner (and believe me, there have been a lot of interesting videos). And there is way more, you will find in Fun Facts.

But, the most interesting fact, I think, is that Freud might have been right!  The top searchwords for men are MILF (Mother I’d Like to Fuck), step mom (2) and mom (5). Wow! So maybe as a child we have learned, according to Freud, to repress our feelings. When we log in to Pornhub it all comes back to us. In a big way.

By the way, if you wonder why Korean is on the rise. I think  that is because of the possible nuclear war. Something like that always turns people on, so it seems. Pornhub always notices global events in her figures.

Famously the day Fidel Castro died, the demand for porn videos with Cuban girls spiked.


Great piece in the guardian by Deborah Orr.

Is it possible that young women of the near future will feel pressure not just to look like porn stars but also to perform like robots, ever available and always eager to please? That’s certainly what women were legally obliged to do, until recently, within marriage, no matter what kind of inattentive, insensitive or abusive sod their husband was. In huge swaths of the world, it’s still very much the case.

Which is the really dispiriting thing about the “advance” of the sex android. It’s not overly optimistic to believe that the argument that women have complete autonomy over their own bodies is getting through. But this development? Automated bodies, designed to look and feel like women – it feels like an enormous refutation. “What? We are expected to see you as complete human beings, with your own minds and thoughts and choices? We aren’t having that. We have the technology to refuse this abomination.

It’s still hard to get some people – men and women – to understand quite what sexual objectification is. It’s simply an act that reduces a woman to nothing more than a sexual vessel. Sex robots, of course, are its apotheosis. The problem is not that sex robots are available: it’s that they are wanted.

There’s always been a bit of sniggering about men who use prostitutes (though real contempt, counterintuitively, is directed at the women involved), or who “can’t get a girlfriend”. Blow-up dolls have always been a joke, as have “wankers”. This too is pitiless, petty stuff. Maybe it’s time to take misogynistic sexual dysfunction more seriously. Maybe people who want to buy sex robots need to present the agreement of a couple of doctors, before they are judged emotionally restricted enough to need to retreat to such an inhuman fantasy. Or maybe, out of respect for women, this technology should just be rejected.


In the section above and the legal section there are discussions about objectifying women. If sexbots really look like women, will women feel the pressure to perform like one? If sexbots look like women, is it illegal to ‘rape’ one? These discussions are still very premature, I think, because sexbots still, well, suck.. Exhibit One is this video from Roxxy an advanced sexbot in action (watch out, the video is SFW, but it is on Pornhub!). Another warning: it is truly depressing.

The discussions however are important, because there is a chance that in the upcoming years sexbots will become better and better.

So, a solution to this problem could be to design sexbots that are really sexy but do not look like human beings at all. At Goldsmith’s sex tech hack there was an example in the form of a sexbot with no face, no hands, and none of the porny characteristics common to sex robots we see in the mainstream media. It’s a pile of plastic inflatable tubes on top of a sleeping bag, which wrap around you and pulse with air – squeezing and hugging whoever has been brave enough to lie down and try it. And very sexy.

Are sexbots like this the best of both worlds? Enhancing sexual experiences without objectifying women? Or is it utopian to think sex can be enhanced for men without objectifying women? Is this just a sexbot for women? And what if we combine this with VR?

Big questions, indeed.


The answer and more questions are coming soon…